Asking yourself “Why am I so sensitive?” Want to know how to be less emotional? This guide has the answer.
Keep asking yourself “Why am I so sensitive”? Want to know some brilliant ways how to be less emotional? On this page we’ll be going to the emotional rehab center as we reveal the psychological facts about emotions: where emotions come from, how to control them and so on, and delving into a ton of psychology on the way. Dont worry you certainly dont need a college degree in psychology to get to grips with your emotions!
If you prefer, however, you can read our quick guide to overcoming emotions.
Still here, k?
Why am I so sensitive? — How to be less emotional /Emotional Rehab Center
Let me tell you a secret. It’s the secret of why I studies positive psychology online and life coaching online. But, I’m only going to tell you this secret because you look like a decent person, so let’s keep this between you and I, shall we?
My secret is this: I’m an emotional man. Always have been! . . you’re definitely not going to repost this on Facebook and Twitter and tell everyone my embarrassing secret, are you? . . . K.
I might not be as bad as I used to be. I might not get so angry over trivial things or become romantic at the mere sight of flowers or cry over The Lion King anymore, but I am an emotional man. . . and to be honest, I actually do still cry over The Lion King (poor Mufasa!)
But I digress.
I’m an emotional man, and as an emotional man I’ve naturally tried to discover how to control feelings and emotions , and thanks to some very intelligent psychologists (who may or may not cry over Mufasa’s death) I’ve managed to find the answer. Through extensive research into mental health resources, by looking at things like emotional depression symptoms and more, I’ve now discovered exactly why I (and maybe you to) am so freaking emotional.
It turns out (thanks largely to Paul Ekman, a psychologist specialising in emotion–someone those of you on life coaching courses and positive psychology degree courses will be very aware of) that there are nine different ways in which we come to feel emotions, and by understanding them all we learn how to control feelings and emotions. That’s what we’re going to do now. . . but just give me a sec cause honestly I still cannot believe that Mufasa is dead.
How to be less emotional: 9 keys to Emotional Depression Rehab
In this video Dr Ekman explains what emotion is
There are nine ways we come to experience emotion. These nine ways are the scientific answers to “why am I so sensitive.” By understanding these nine ways, we can progress a long way towards learning how to be less emotional
The nine answers to the question “why am I so sensitive?”
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 1) Autoappraiser: There’s a snake on your foot.
There isn’t really, silly; but if there were a snake on your foot, it wouldn’t take long for you to feel fear. In fact, you’d automatically feel fear, without having to think “That’s a snake. Could be poisonous. Looks kinda pissed off. I should be scared.” You’d immediately and automatically feel fear. That’s because of your autoappraiser; a part of your mind which is constantly scanning the environment and which will automatically produce emotions in you if it sees something requiring an emotional response.
How to be less emotional with Autoappraiser Emotions: Autoappraiser emotions have been hardwired into you through evolution so there’s not much you could do about them. Though to be honest, you’re best off not trying to change them anyway. Why? Imagine a car swerves in front of you and you have a split second to react before you crash. Your autoappraiser emotions would save your life here, automatically creating the emotional response necessary to make you slam desperately on the brakes. Yeah, you best not mess with your autoappraiser emotions.
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 2) Reflective Appraiser: You failed your exam.
In this instance, you wouldn’t feel an automatic response. Instead, you would think “I failed. I won’t pass the course. I won’t get the job. This could completely mess up my plans for the future.” In this instance, even though it wouldn’t take long for emotions to arise, there would be a thought process. This is a reflective appraiser. This is one of the ways we can control our emotions. People who go through severe depression treatment, or who panic disorder therapy or other treatments often work on their reflective appraiser.
How to be less emotional with reflective appraisers: Essentially, it’s the process of thinking about the bad thing which has happened that leads to you experiencing a bad feeling or emotion. To take control of it, try to recognise when you’re thinking along a negative route and either think about something completely unrelated or focus on some aspect of your environment (focussing on your environment like this is called mindfulness, which you can learn here: Mindfulness Meditation).
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 3) Memory Recall: You remember the time you got that awesome job and felt like a freaking genius?
That’s a memory recall. Your remembering an event and feeling the emotion associated to it. Oftentimes memory recall can cause problems. For example, people going through major depressive disorder treatment will work on their memories. It’s also a big part of self help for depression, with practices like Neuro Linguistic Programmic working heavily on memory. Buuuut, you dont need to know anything about that because working on your memory is pretty easy (unless you have a severe mental health condition in which case consult a doctor).
How to be less emotional in memory recall: Two ways. First off, just like with the reflective appraisal emotions, learn to recognise when you’re remembering a negative experience and stop it by thinking about something else or focussing on your external environment. The second of using memory recall emotions involves using them to actually produce positive emotions. By simply choosing to focus on positive memories we can make ourselves feel more positive. There’s actually a big article and exercise on doing this right here: controlling emotions through memory recall (man are you lucky to have such resources just a click away)
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 4) Imagination: The same as memory recall, only your imagining the event instead of remembering it. Again, many issues like symptoms of severe depression can be caused by the imagination.
How to be less emotional in your Imagination: Exactly the same as memory recall but with imagination. Notice when you’re imagining negative things and stop it or be mindful, and use positive imaginings to produce positive feelings.
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 5) Discussion: When we discuss events with other people we strike up emotions (likely in a similar way to imagination and memory recall). The main difference here is that the act of talking and the act of listening to another person talking about the cause of the emotion can change the way we feel about it. For instance, your mate says, “so you failed. Big deal. Just take the exam again next year.” Naturally, this reduces your stress and anxiety.
How to be less emotional through Discussion: Simply choose someone your close to to discuss the event with; someone you can trust. It will leave you feeling better.
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 6) Empathy: Your friend just won the lottery.
You’re probably either extremely excited or extremely jealous. If you’re experiencing feelings or emotions through empathy, however, you’ll be sharing the way your friend is feeling. That’s because we naturally soak-up (so to speak) the feelings of people we feel close to. Likewise, if your friend were terribly upset, you would be too. A lot of mental health problems can be caused by lack of empathy. Empathy is an areas that specialists like depression clinics will look at in detail.
How to be less emotional through empathy: this largely comes down to who you associate with. Ask yourself: are the people around you giving you positive or negative feelings and emotions. You might want to spend more or less time with them accordingly.
Alternatively, if someone near and dear to you is feeling low and is making you yourself feel low, simply take moments now and again to give yourself a break by focussing on your environment. You can do this whilst you’re talking to them too; just take a few moments to look away now and again. This will help you to take an emotional breather so you don’t get too emotional yourself and are therefore more able to offer support.
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 7) Other people telling us what to feel: Becky, a friend of a friend, has just quit her job as a teacher and is now working at home as a freelance writer. You don’t know Becky and so don’t know what this really means to her, but figuring the job change would result in lower pay, you say “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” But then your friend says, “Oh no. It’s a good thing, Becky. I know you’ve wanted to take the plunge for a long time and I’m so proud of you for doing it.” Suddenly it’s a good thing because a source of authority has told you so, and you change your feelings accordingly. This is the seventh way we experience emotions: basing them on a point of authority.
How to be less emotional when being told what to feel: Provided you have a decent source of authority who you can rely on to let you know the score, you won’t need to.
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 8) Violation of social norms: You believe that a holiday flight should be a quiet and comfortable affair, but the kid behind you who’s kicking your seat doesn’t appear to agree. You’re angry. Why? Because the kid is violating something you consider to be correct. Holiday’s should be relaxing, you think, and the kid is violating your expectations, so you’re angry.
How to be less emotional from social norms: Ask yourself: are the rules you believe people should stick to really that important? Is it really that bad a thing for a kid to be kicking a chair? All right, it’s annoying, but it’s not the end of the world. By learning to let go of your idea of correct behaviour or social norms, you become more flexible and adaptable and are more likely to turn around, without being angry, and politely ask the kid’s parents to make him stop.
“Why am I so sensitive” Answer 9) Voluntarily assuming facial and vocal expressions: I’ve saved the best till last here. It turns out that you can create emotions by voluntarily changing your expressions and / or your tone of voice. Simply smiling will make you feel happier. Making a droopy face will make you feel sad. It takes some work to create particularly strong emotions, but it’s certainly worth knowing that you can choose to smile and as a result be happy.
How to be less emotional through expressions: Simple. Strike a pose. . Practice using facial expressions and different tones of voice and learn which ones create powerful positive emotions; then use them.
So there we are, the best advice on how to stop being so sensitive. If you’re interested in discovering more about this, I recommend taking a life coaching course or online positive psychology course!